Sally Hogshead
Do you know a woman who underestimates herself?
There’s a reason why. Too often, the world tells women:
Be fascinating… but not too fascinating.
Be passionate… but not overly dramatic.
Be confident… but not bitchy.
Be introspective… but not aloof.
Be the best you can be… but not too competitive.
You can play… but play small.
There’s a reason why it happens, and there’s a way to solve it.
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P.S. I just realized something. As I’m typing this to you right now, I said to myself “Uh-oh, I should apologize if this sounds like a rant.” But then I realized, well, it is a rant. But stick with me here. 
Do you know a woman who underestimates herself?
A woman who has no idea how amazing she is… whose heart is open to criticism?
The world doesn’t know how to respond to a fascinating woman. Fascinating women are dangerous.
The world tells women:
Be fascinating… but not too fascinating.
Be confident… but not too confident, because then you’re bitchy.
Be passionate… but not too passionate, because then you’re dramatic and clingy.
It’s okay to be introspective, just not cold and aloof.
Be the best you can be, just as long as you’re not competitive.
You’re too much this. You’re not enough that.
Be something. Just not too much of anything.
You can play… but play small.
The world has plenty of words to tell a woman what she’s doing wrong, but very few ways to tell her what she’s doing right.
This “be-fascinating-but-not-too-fascinating” thing is the new glass ceiling.
Over the course of the last decade I’ve researched over half of a million women. And what I learned broke my heart.
When we tell women not to be “too fascinating,” here’s the result…
Insecurity, hesitancy, awkwardness
Feeling ignored and forgotten
Unable to make a difference
Lower earning potential
Fear of competing
Feeling unimpressive or even insignificant
Yet when you show girls what they’re already doing right, the conversation shifts…
Confidence
Higher performance
Faster progress and results
Acknowledgement, recognition, admiration
Higher earning potential
Listen to Sally explain in this short audio clip.
The greatest way to empower a woman is to recognize her unique specialty.
We think that if we ask for attention and don’t contribute anything worthwhile in return, then we’ve failed.
The conversation goes like this:
“There’s something wrong with you, and you need to fix yourself. Fix that, and you’ll be okay.”
I want to tell you this:
You do not have to fix anything.
You do not have to change who you are. You only have to become more of who you are, at your best.
We need to stop trying to fix women, and instead, identify what they’re already doing right… so they can do more of it.
In order to look at yourself in a new way, and to see how the world sees you at your best, I have to give you a new lens. I have to give you a new way to see yourself.
Imagine if you had a magic mirror.
When you looked into this mirror, it wouldn’t play back all the things that were wrong with you. It wouldn’t show you the ways you need to fix yourself, or those so-called flaws and insecurities. Instead, what if you had a mirror that could show you how other people see you at your best?
We can start changing the conversation, that women can change the world.
In order to change the world, a woman doesn’t have to change herself.
<p>The post Are fascinating women… dangerous ? first appeared on SwordPress.</p>